Tampico Trauma

Logged over 12 horas on the GPS today but not as many miles as I’d hoped. Made Tampico and had some trauma-but minor- for you parrotheads.
Up early. Dawn comes late on the Gulf in November on Central standard time. Fired my bike up and rode it down to my room(left it secure for the night by the main house/office). Loaded up and ready to go. Like a dumbass I plugged in my iphone with the bike off and can’t believe it drained the battery. Fahk mi. tried to compression start it loaded down. Comical fail. Pushed it back to the office area where someone was already ising the trickle charger! Too funny. Here I was worried about getting a jump. Stole the charger from the truck it was charging and hooked it up to mine for a few and I was off.
The ride this morning was totally awesome. Totally tropical two lane twisties without too many potholes. This is what I came for! Tropical clouds. Tropical plants. Tropical birds and their noises. Totally sweet.
The owner of the hotel called the guy in his town about a battery for me but no luck. So he gave me instructions for a place to get one in Tampico. No joy there either. So I’m still running with my battery and it seems to be performing flawlessly but at the same time ive been VERY nice to it at all times since.
As for the Tampico Trauma, I paid my first Mexican bribe today! I’ve been to mexico a lot of times and if you throw in all the driving and trekking ive done in latin American countries too, its pretty lucky I’ve never had to deal with corrupt federales. $10- bill. Totally worth it.
I’m driving through some backwater part of Tampico but the street is crushed and crowded bumper to bumper, bobbing and weaving on my bike. Killin it. When this guy that looks like he belongs at macys in a grubby brown uniform with a toy badge waves at me. I pretend not to notice. I keep going. I hear a whistle blowing behind me. Fuck it. But then his friend on the next block(same uni not as grubby) waves me over to the side and hes standing in the middle of a very narrow two lane. Unavoidable. I pull over.
The other guy walks up and pretends to be mad. I pretend to not understand that im being shook. Then he tries to tell me I ran a light and thinks I don’t know what semaforo(traffic light) is. after I remove my glasses and helmet. I look him straight in the face and almost yell, “NO”. we go back and forth pretending not to speak any English or Spanish and blah blah. I give him my license. He gives it to the other guy so he can get back up the block to his beat. New guy tries explaining still and basically wasting time and meanwhile I am nonplussed. Im parked on the side of a very busy street. Some kids on the other side are in this little shop and looking over and were laughing together. The cop doesn’t like this but im very polite and unruffled and kind of having fun with it. He has his ticket book out but won’t give me one. I’m in no hurry either. I actually lit a smoke sitting there on my bike just hanging out. That’s the game. The end run is to have him actually write me a ticket or take me to the station. He tried to see if I was staying in Tampico. This is so he can keep my license and hopefully extract more from me later. Or something. he kept writing, ruffling, pretending. Nothing. I kept smoking and laughing with the guys across the street. I told them to email me the picture while the cop is standing right there. Everypone is having a great time in the middle of a totally hectic street. At one point a state police pickup truck rolls by. They are in a completely different league than the beat cops. The guys standing up in back with all their huge automatic rifles drive by. They have to go slow because of the traffic. They started laughing too! Everyone knew what was going on. It was hilarious and I was one of the stars of the show. Having a great ole time.
Finally, I say real nice to the guy, kind of conspiratorially, “how much do you want?”
He finally writes on his ticket $200. He meant dollars. I think? I pulled out a $10- bill and said “igual ciento treinta y cinco. No mas” as if I was countering his 200 offer as if he meant pesos. The other guy comes back again. Taps me on the shoulder and holds out his hand. We shook. And smiled. New guy is all of a sudden my best friend and gives me directions to take the second light, go left and id run into the toll bridge I want out of Tampico.
Paddy O’Flynn
Power outlets don’t have a ground prong so cant use to charge my laptop and it died while writing.